Joke Time

Bhikari :- kuch khane ko dedo,

SANTA :- TAMATAR KAHO,

Bhikari :- Roti dedo,

SANTA :-tamatar kaho,

Bhikari :- chalo tamatar hi de do,

SANTA KI MUMY :- YE TOTLA HAI KAH 

RAHA HAI KMA KR KHAO,

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EK POLICE INSPECTOR K GHR CHORI HO GYI

WIFE :- utho ji , ghar main chori ho rahi h,

 POLICE INSPECTOR :- MUJHKO SONE DO MAIN ABHI DUTY PR NHI HU,

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Nurse to patient with bleeding head : ur name

patient :- raju

nurse :- whats ur birthday

patient :- 1 feb

nurse :- r u married?

patient :-  no no , it was a car accident

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FATHER :- Beta zara aapna mobile dena 1 min

son :- 1 min mob on kr lu

delete video

delete photo

delete call

delete message

ye lo dad on ho gya

dad :-  chor sirf time bta de

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EK LADKA BLOOD BANK MEIN :- SISTER MUJHE EK

 BOTAL KHOON DE DO  

SISTER :- BLOOD GROUP BATAWO

LADKA :- KOI BHI CHALEGA 

SISTER :-  KAISE

LADKA :- MUJHKO LOVE LETTER LIKHNA HAI

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5 YR OLD BOY :- I LUV U MOM

MOM :- AWW ! I LUV U TO

16 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- SRY ! I HV NO MONEY.

25 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- HMM...   KAUN HAI WO , 

KAHAN RAHTI HAI

 MORAL :- MAA SB JANTI HAI 

BUT THE BEST IS 

35 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :-  BETA MAINE PHELE HI KHA THA .......

US KAMINI SE SHADI MT KARNA

AND THE LAST ONE..........

55 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- MAIN KISI BHI PAPER PR SIGN NAHI KARONGI..

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BANK MAIN CUSTOMER NE CHEQUE DETE HUE POOCHHA 

KI  " MADAM YE KITNE DINE MAIN CLEAR HO JAYGA "

MADAM :- KAM SE KAM 2-3 DIN LANGEGE,

CUSTOMER :- LEKIN MADAM ITNA TIME KYUN LAGEGA?

JIS BANK KA CHEQUE MAINE DALA HAI WOH TO SMNE WALI

BUILDING MAIN HI HAI

MADAM :- SIR MAIN AAPKO KAISE SAMJHUN , PROCEDURE TO

FOLLOW KRNA PADEGA.

MAAN LIJYE AAP SAMSAN K SAMNE MAR JAATE HAI

 TO GHAR WALE AAPKI LAS KO GHAR LE JAYENGE YA

 WAHIN SAAMNE NIPTA DENGE.. 

BOLIYE?

CUSTOMER BEHOSH !

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LADKA LADKI  SE

MERE PASS MERE DOST JAISI CAR NHI HAI

PAR TMKO PALKON PE BAITHA K GHOMANNGA

US K JAISA GHAR NHI HAI

PR TMKO DIL MAIN RAKHONGA

US K JITNA PAISA NHI HAI

PAR TMHAIN MAJDOORI KR K KHILONGA

AUR KYA CHAHIYE TMHEIN?????

LADKI :- 

BS KR PAGLE AB RULAYEGA KYA .....?

CHAL AAPNE DOST KA NUMBER DE...........

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Joke Time

Bhikari :- kuch khane ko dedo,

SANTA :- TAMATAR KAHO,

Bhikari :- Roti dedo,

SANTA :-tamatar kaho,

Bhikari :- chalo tamatar hi de do,

SANTA KI MUMY :- YE TOTLA HAI KAH 

RAHA HAI KMA KR KHAO,

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EK POLICE INSPECTOR K GHR CHORI HO GYI

WIFE :- utho ji , ghar main chori ho rahi h,

 POLICE INSPECTOR :- MUJHKO SONE DO MAIN ABHI DUTY PR NHI HU,

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Nurse to patient with bleeding head : ur name

patient :- raju

nurse :- whats ur birthday

patient :- 1 feb

nurse :- r u married?

patient :-  no no , it was a car accident

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FATHER :- Beta zara aapna mobile dena 1 min

son :- 1 min mob on kr lu

delete video

delete photo

delete call

delete message

ye lo dad on ho gya

dad :-  chor sirf time bta de

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EK LADKA BLOOD BANK MEIN :- SISTER MUJHE EK

 BOTAL KHOON DE DO  

SISTER :- BLOOD GROUP BATAWO

LADKA :- KOI BHI CHALEGA 

SISTER :-  KAISE

LADKA :- MUJHKO LOVE LETTER LIKHNA HAI

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5 YR OLD BOY :- I LUV U MOM

MOM :- AWW ! I LUV U TO

16 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- SRY ! I HV NO MONEY.

25 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- HMM...   KAUN HAI WO , 

KAHAN RAHTI HAI

 MORAL :- MAA SB JANTI HAI 

BUT THE BEST IS 

35 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :-  BETA MAINE PHELE HI KHA THA .......

US KAMINI SE SHADI MT KARNA

AND THE LAST ONE..........

55 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- MAIN KISI BHI PAPER PR SIGN NAHI KARONGI..

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BANK MAIN CUSTOMER NE CHEQUE DETE HUE POOCHHA 

KI  " MADAM YE KITNE DINE MAIN CLEAR HO JAYGA "

MADAM :- KAM SE KAM 2-3 DIN LANGEGE,

CUSTOMER :- LEKIN MADAM ITNA TIME KYUN LAGEGA?

JIS BANK KA CHEQUE MAINE DALA HAI WOH TO SMNE WALI

BUILDING MAIN HI HAI

MADAM :- SIR MAIN AAPKO KAISE SAMJHUN , PROCEDURE TO

FOLLOW KRNA PADEGA.

MAAN LIJYE AAP SAMSAN K SAMNE MAR JAATE HAI

 TO GHAR WALE AAPKI LAS KO GHAR LE JAYENGE YA

 WAHIN SAAMNE NIPTA DENGE.. 

BOLIYE?

CUSTOMER BEHOSH !

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LADKA LADKI  SE

MERE PASS MERE DOST JAISI CAR NHI HAI

PAR TMKO PALKON PE BAITHA K GHOMANNGA

US K JAISA GHAR NHI HAI

PR TMKO DIL MAIN RAKHONGA

US K JITNA PAISA NHI HAI

PAR TMHAIN MAJDOORI KR K KHILONGA

AUR KYA CHAHIYE TMHEIN?????

LADKI :- 

BS KR PAGLE AB RULAYEGA KYA .....?

CHAL AAPNE DOST KA NUMBER DE...........

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It's Time To Laugh

Santa dialled a phone number, A computerized female voice said.

"aapke pass paryapt balance nahi hai - kirpya aapna mobile recharge kare"

santa :- Bas janeman tumse baat ho jati hai itna hi kaffi hai...

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A father was teaching the spelling of word "ASSASSINATION" 

He says ek gadha (ASS) , 

USPAR EK OR GADHA (ASS)

JISPAR MAIN(I)

AUR MUJH PAR SARA DESH (NATION)

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EK AADMI AAPNE AAP ME KEHTA HUE JA RAHA THA KI AISI JINDAGI

SE TOH MAUT ACCHI.

ACHANAK YAMRAJ AA GAYA AUR BOLA " TUMHARI JAAN LENE KA HUKM HAI"

AADMI :- LO BATAO AAB INSAAN JOKES BHI NHI KR SAKTA HAI KYA

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SANTA TO AUTO-DRIVER :- GURUDWARE  JAOGE ?

DRIVER  :-  HAAN BILKUL  JAOGE :

SANTA NE JEB SE POLYTHIN NIKALA AUR BULA ;

WAPAS AATE SAMAY MERE LIYE LANGER LETE AANA

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AFTER A BIG ACCIDENT , A MAN WAS CRYING : O GOD !

I HV LOST MY LEFT HAND 

SANTA :-   CNTRL URSLF MY FRND , DNT CRY SEE THAT  MAN HE LOST HIS HEAD , IS HE CRYING ?

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AFTER ROBBING  THE BANK , 1 ROBBER TO CLERK : DID U SEE ME ROBBING

CLERK :-  YS I SAW U;

ROBBER KILLED HIM AND ASKED TO 

THE NEXT CLERK DID U

SECOUND CLERK : NO , BUT MY WIFE SAW U...

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DOCTER  EK PATIENT K PICHHE BHAG RHA THA .....

EK AADMI NE PUCHA KYA HUA ?

DOCTER :- ARE YAAR CHAR BAR SE AISA HO RHA

 HAI BRAIN K OPRATION K  LIYE AATA HAI

OR BAAL KATWA KR CAHA JATA HAI,

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TECHER :- TMHARE PAPA 500 RS LOAN LETE HAI  10% KE HISHAB SE WOH EK SAAL BAAD KITNE PAISA VAPIS KRENGE:

STUDENT :-  KUCH BHI NAHI,

TECHER :- TM MATH NHI JAANTE , 

 STUDENT:- MAIN TO MATH JANTA HU AAP MERE PAPA KO NHI JAANTE ,