whatsapp status

1 :- keep smiling & one day life will tired of upsettig you 

2 :- Dont tell people your dreams ! show them!

3 :- if i hada pound for every time i got suspicious.......

i'd wonder who the f&*k was paying me , and why  

4 :- I m nt a special . i m just a limited edition.

5 :- Mom's logic :- if u go wild and break ur legs ,

 do not run to me and cry  

6 :- Borrow money from a pessimist - - -

he doesn't expect it back,

7 :-  our marriage is like a workshop .   

i work and my wife shop !

8 :- typing......

9 :- i m good at sleeping , i cn do it with my eyes closed .

10 :- when i was born i was so surprised, i dint talk for a year & a half

11 :- never laugh at ur wife choice ....
            you are one of them....

12 :- i jst want to die young as lateas possible...

13 :- if u talking abt me behind mah back ......

          go ahead this is the bst angle to kiss mah ass !

14 :- my " last seen at " was jst to check ur last seen at "

15 :- if i had the world in mah hand, i'd give it all to u 

16 :- if a hug tell how much i luv u ,

         i would hold you in my arms forever.        

 

17 :- ever luv story is beautifull , but ours is my favorite.

18 :- every moment  i spend with u is like a dream come true

19 :- as long as i wake up in the morning and she is nxt to me that's all that matters.

20 :- and i her smile i saw smthng more beautifull the stars .

21 :- failing in luv is only half of what i want. staying in luv with u till forever is the other.

22 :- i nvr really believed in magic untill i saw u vry frst time.

22 :-  " love is what makes u smile when u r tired

23 :- luv means exposing urslf to the pain of being hrt by someone u trust.

24 :- girls generally drool over hot guys bt they eventually fall in luv with funny guys that make them laugh.

25 :- luv seems like the bst thing that happened to me becoz its u

26 :- i m so blind in uv with u that i luv even the most stupid thing u do

27 :- hrt me with the truth , dnt comfrt me with a lie

28 :- luv is like a heaven but hrt like hell

29 :- it's only hrts when  u luv someone nd u knw they dnt luv u back

30 :- dont mind the weather , it's raining in my heart tonight

31 :- luving might be a mistake bt its worth makig

32 :- spiteful words cn hrt ur felling silence breaks yr hrt

33 :- if someone you luv hurt u cry a river ,build  a ridge , nd get over it

34 :- failure is always temporary only giving up make its permanent

35 :- work hard in silence & let the success make noice 

36 :- one day i really want to say i made it

37 :-wrk untill  u dnt hv to introduce yuslf

38 :- to shine like the sun u need to burn like one

39 :- success is failling 9 times and getting up 10

40 :- defeat ur enemies with ur suceess

           

JOKE on student

" Thousands of words of a teacher dnt hrt but a silence of a frnd in examination hall brings tears into eyes

--------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------

agar question paper tough lagy

ya samjh main na aaye to

ek gahri sans lo or zor se chillawo

.

.

.

.

" kameno " ager fail hi krna tha to exam kyun le rahe ho

-----------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------

father :- y  hv u got less mark in history paper"

son :-  it is nt my fault, they asked a question

 which had happened befor i was born

-----------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------

Height of innocence

kid (on phone) :- madam my son will not come school today!

madam :- who r u?

kid :- my papa speaking !!

------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------

Teacher to student :- Art ki copy main train bnawo ! 

main 5 min main aati hu

Teacher :- 10 min k baad aa kr boli  train dikhawo !

student :- aap late ho gyi train 5 min phele hi chali gyi !!

--------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------

Najomi boy ka hath dekh kr bolo : baita tm pahut parhogy !

boy :- par to main 12 saal se raha hu ye btawo pass kb honga

--------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------

2 student raat main parthy howy !

1 whats the time?

 2 wale ne pather uta kr samne wale ghar main mara !

 1 aurat nikali or boli

 "" kameno "" ab to so jawo raat k 3 baj gye hai !

----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

IN BIOLOGY PRACTICAL

Examiner :- tell the name of this bird by only seeing it's legs !

student :- i cnt say

Examiner :- u r fail , what is ur name?

student :-  see my legs and tell my name !

-----------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------

Tamam Students ko khabar-dar kia jata hai

Ki wo ghar ke sare :-

.Chappal !
Wiper !
Jharu  !
Belts  !
Wires !
Bat !
&
Pipes !
.
Chupa lain
.
Kionky result any mai sirf 2 din rah gaye

----------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------

 University mai sari larkiyon ke kitny naam hotay hain?
.
Ans: Sirf 4 :-
.

.

.

.

.
1- Mairi wali
2- Tairi wali
3- Mairi bhabhi
4- Tairi bhabhi

----------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

HEIGHT OF HONESTY….?

" Sitting in Examination Hall !
Opening the chit !
Memorizing the answers And !
Then writing without seeing chit "

----------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------

Teacher :- Es Mohawary ko estimal karo

 "Mun mai Pani aana"
.
Sardar Student :-  Jaise hi mai ne Nal ko mun laga ke chalo kia,

 mere mun mai pani aagia"

---------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------

Students were asked to write a "Sign Board" for traffic for University gate;
.
They wrote: "Drive carefully, don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?

Student: Sir! Ammi abbu lar rahay tay eslie

Teacher: Ammi Abbu lar rahy tay tu tum kion late aye??

Student: Maira 1 joota ammi ke pas tha owr 1 abbu ke pas

---------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------

"New Exam Song"

.
Tu paper paper karti hai !

Tu result se kion darti hai !

Ek bar mujhe batla de tu !

Tu cheating kion nahi karti hai

Kia hota hai paper mai

Paper ka laga don dhair

Mai parish kardon paperon ki

Ju tu ho jaye mairi

-------------------------------------------------------------

Son: Papa Good News hai

Father: Kia?

Son: Apko yad hai na, ap ne kaha ta ke agar mai Exam me Pass howa tu ap mujhe 5000 rupey daingy?

Father: Han

Son: Apke 5000 bach gaye

------------------------------------------------------

Joke Time

Bhikari :- kuch khane ko dedo,

SANTA :- TAMATAR KAHO,

Bhikari :- Roti dedo,

SANTA :-tamatar kaho,

Bhikari :- chalo tamatar hi de do,

SANTA KI MUMY :- YE TOTLA HAI KAH 

RAHA HAI KMA KR KHAO,

------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------

EK POLICE INSPECTOR K GHR CHORI HO GYI

WIFE :- utho ji , ghar main chori ho rahi h,

 POLICE INSPECTOR :- MUJHKO SONE DO MAIN ABHI DUTY PR NHI HU,

--------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Nurse to patient with bleeding head : ur name

patient :- raju

nurse :- whats ur birthday

patient :- 1 feb

nurse :- r u married?

patient :-  no no , it was a car accident

---------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

FATHER :- Beta zara aapna mobile dena 1 min

son :- 1 min mob on kr lu

delete video

delete photo

delete call

delete message

ye lo dad on ho gya

dad :-  chor sirf time bta de

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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EK LADKA BLOOD BANK MEIN :- SISTER MUJHE EK

 BOTAL KHOON DE DO  

SISTER :- BLOOD GROUP BATAWO

LADKA :- KOI BHI CHALEGA 

SISTER :-  KAISE

LADKA :- MUJHKO LOVE LETTER LIKHNA HAI

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5 YR OLD BOY :- I LUV U MOM

MOM :- AWW ! I LUV U TO

16 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- SRY ! I HV NO MONEY.

25 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- HMM...   KAUN HAI WO , 

KAHAN RAHTI HAI

 MORAL :- MAA SB JANTI HAI 

BUT THE BEST IS 

35 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :-  BETA MAINE PHELE HI KHA THA .......

US KAMINI SE SHADI MT KARNA

AND THE LAST ONE..........

55 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- MAIN KISI BHI PAPER PR SIGN NAHI KARONGI..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BANK MAIN CUSTOMER NE CHEQUE DETE HUE POOCHHA 

KI  " MADAM YE KITNE DINE MAIN CLEAR HO JAYGA "

MADAM :- KAM SE KAM 2-3 DIN LANGEGE,

CUSTOMER :- LEKIN MADAM ITNA TIME KYUN LAGEGA?

JIS BANK KA CHEQUE MAINE DALA HAI WOH TO SMNE WALI

BUILDING MAIN HI HAI

MADAM :- SIR MAIN AAPKO KAISE SAMJHUN , PROCEDURE TO

FOLLOW KRNA PADEGA.

MAAN LIJYE AAP SAMSAN K SAMNE MAR JAATE HAI

 TO GHAR WALE AAPKI LAS KO GHAR LE JAYENGE YA

 WAHIN SAAMNE NIPTA DENGE.. 

BOLIYE?

CUSTOMER BEHOSH !

------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------

LADKA LADKI  SE

MERE PASS MERE DOST JAISI CAR NHI HAI

PAR TMKO PALKON PE BAITHA K GHOMANNGA

US K JAISA GHAR NHI HAI

PR TMKO DIL MAIN RAKHONGA

US K JITNA PAISA NHI HAI

PAR TMHAIN MAJDOORI KR K KHILONGA

AUR KYA CHAHIYE TMHEIN?????

LADKI :- 

BS KR PAGLE AB RULAYEGA KYA .....?

CHAL AAPNE DOST KA NUMBER DE...........

------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Joke Time

Bhikari :- kuch khane ko dedo,

SANTA :- TAMATAR KAHO,

Bhikari :- Roti dedo,

SANTA :-tamatar kaho,

Bhikari :- chalo tamatar hi de do,

SANTA KI MUMY :- YE TOTLA HAI KAH 

RAHA HAI KMA KR KHAO,

------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------

EK POLICE INSPECTOR K GHR CHORI HO GYI

WIFE :- utho ji , ghar main chori ho rahi h,

 POLICE INSPECTOR :- MUJHKO SONE DO MAIN ABHI DUTY PR NHI HU,

--------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Nurse to patient with bleeding head : ur name

patient :- raju

nurse :- whats ur birthday

patient :- 1 feb

nurse :- r u married?

patient :-  no no , it was a car accident

---------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

FATHER :- Beta zara aapna mobile dena 1 min

son :- 1 min mob on kr lu

delete video

delete photo

delete call

delete message

ye lo dad on ho gya

dad :-  chor sirf time bta de

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EK LADKA BLOOD BANK MEIN :- SISTER MUJHE EK

 BOTAL KHOON DE DO  

SISTER :- BLOOD GROUP BATAWO

LADKA :- KOI BHI CHALEGA 

SISTER :-  KAISE

LADKA :- MUJHKO LOVE LETTER LIKHNA HAI

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5 YR OLD BOY :- I LUV U MOM

MOM :- AWW ! I LUV U TO

16 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- SRY ! I HV NO MONEY.

25 YR OLD BOY :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- HMM...   KAUN HAI WO , 

KAHAN RAHTI HAI

 MORAL :- MAA SB JANTI HAI 

BUT THE BEST IS 

35 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :-  BETA MAINE PHELE HI KHA THA .......

US KAMINI SE SHADI MT KARNA

AND THE LAST ONE..........

55 YR OLD MAN :-  I LUV U MOM

MOM :- MAIN KISI BHI PAPER PR SIGN NAHI KARONGI..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BANK MAIN CUSTOMER NE CHEQUE DETE HUE POOCHHA 

KI  " MADAM YE KITNE DINE MAIN CLEAR HO JAYGA "

MADAM :- KAM SE KAM 2-3 DIN LANGEGE,

CUSTOMER :- LEKIN MADAM ITNA TIME KYUN LAGEGA?

JIS BANK KA CHEQUE MAINE DALA HAI WOH TO SMNE WALI

BUILDING MAIN HI HAI

MADAM :- SIR MAIN AAPKO KAISE SAMJHUN , PROCEDURE TO

FOLLOW KRNA PADEGA.

MAAN LIJYE AAP SAMSAN K SAMNE MAR JAATE HAI

 TO GHAR WALE AAPKI LAS KO GHAR LE JAYENGE YA

 WAHIN SAAMNE NIPTA DENGE.. 

BOLIYE?

CUSTOMER BEHOSH !

------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------

LADKA LADKI  SE

MERE PASS MERE DOST JAISI CAR NHI HAI

PAR TMKO PALKON PE BAITHA K GHOMANNGA

US K JAISA GHAR NHI HAI

PR TMKO DIL MAIN RAKHONGA

US K JITNA PAISA NHI HAI

PAR TMHAIN MAJDOORI KR K KHILONGA

AUR KYA CHAHIYE TMHEIN?????

LADKI :- 

BS KR PAGLE AB RULAYEGA KYA .....?

CHAL AAPNE DOST KA NUMBER DE...........

------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It's Time To Laugh

Santa dialled a phone number, A computerized female voice said.

"aapke pass paryapt balance nahi hai - kirpya aapna mobile recharge kare"

santa :- Bas janeman tumse baat ho jati hai itna hi kaffi hai...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A father was teaching the spelling of word "ASSASSINATION" 

He says ek gadha (ASS) , 

USPAR EK OR GADHA (ASS)

JISPAR MAIN(I)

AUR MUJH PAR SARA DESH (NATION)

---------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------

EK AADMI AAPNE AAP ME KEHTA HUE JA RAHA THA KI AISI JINDAGI

SE TOH MAUT ACCHI.

ACHANAK YAMRAJ AA GAYA AUR BOLA " TUMHARI JAAN LENE KA HUKM HAI"

AADMI :- LO BATAO AAB INSAAN JOKES BHI NHI KR SAKTA HAI KYA

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SANTA TO AUTO-DRIVER :- GURUDWARE  JAOGE ?

DRIVER  :-  HAAN BILKUL  JAOGE :

SANTA NE JEB SE POLYTHIN NIKALA AUR BULA ;

WAPAS AATE SAMAY MERE LIYE LANGER LETE AANA

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AFTER A BIG ACCIDENT , A MAN WAS CRYING : O GOD !

I HV LOST MY LEFT HAND 

SANTA :-   CNTRL URSLF MY FRND , DNT CRY SEE THAT  MAN HE LOST HIS HEAD , IS HE CRYING ?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AFTER ROBBING  THE BANK , 1 ROBBER TO CLERK : DID U SEE ME ROBBING

CLERK :-  YS I SAW U;

ROBBER KILLED HIM AND ASKED TO 

THE NEXT CLERK DID U

SECOUND CLERK : NO , BUT MY WIFE SAW U...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

DOCTER  EK PATIENT K PICHHE BHAG RHA THA .....

EK AADMI NE PUCHA KYA HUA ?

DOCTER :- ARE YAAR CHAR BAR SE AISA HO RHA

 HAI BRAIN K OPRATION K  LIYE AATA HAI

OR BAAL KATWA KR CAHA JATA HAI,

------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------

TECHER :- TMHARE PAPA 500 RS LOAN LETE HAI  10% KE HISHAB SE WOH EK SAAL BAAD KITNE PAISA VAPIS KRENGE:

STUDENT :-  KUCH BHI NAHI,

TECHER :- TM MATH NHI JAANTE , 

 STUDENT:- MAIN TO MATH JANTA HU AAP MERE PAPA KO NHI JAANTE ,